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Terminal Lance Creator Revealed To Be Sergeant Major Of Marine Corps
CAMP LEJEUNE, NC – Enlisted Marines everywhere were stunned this week after learning that the creator of enlisted-life comic strip Terminal Lance is actually former Sgt. Maj. of the Marine Corps...
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Marine Faces Charges After ‘Stealing’ Commanding Officer’s Wife
CAMP LEJEUNE, NC – A Lance Corporal in the Second Marine Regiment is facing charges of disorderly conduct after “stealing” the wife of his battalion commander. Lance Corporal Michael Gavrilovic, an...
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Report: Base Corporal Always In PT Gear
CAMP PENDLETON, CA – From morning to evening colors, Base Supply Corporal Michael Jennings’ attire is always green shorts, Nikes and a green skivvy shirt, sources reported Friday. “I saw him at the...
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Marine Corps Admits 5.0 Marines Actually Exist
QUANTICO, VA – The Marine Corps released an administrative message Friday admitting that despite what many of its staff non-commissioned officers (SNCO’s) have claimed over the years, “5.0 Marines” do...
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Supply Chief Has Complete Conversation With Grunt Without Understanding...
OKINAWA, JAPAN – Supply Company Gunnery Sergeant Dan Williams confirmed today that despite a wide range of accomplishments and experiences in the Corps, he had absolutely no idea what an infantry...
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Lance Corporals Course Honor Graduate Receives ‘Honorary NJP’
CAMP LEJEUNE, NC — “Take me to the brig!” Chesty Puller once demanded during an inspection, “I want to see the real Marines.” Aboard Camp Lejeune, Marines seek to keep that spirit alive in the 21st...
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Lance Corporal Sentenced To 20-Year Career, Vows To Take Vengeance On...
QUANTICO, VA — Looking at bleak job prospects back home and with no money saved for the future, a Marine Lance Corporal visiting the battalion career planner was sentenced this morning to an arduous...
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Grunt-Turned-POG Insults POG-Turned-Grunt
OP OMAR – Company-level staff at Kilo Company confirmed today that a Grunt-Turned-POG had gone off on another rant about how much he hates POGs. According to eyewitnesses, Lance Corporal Bruno Walz...
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Quantico DWI Policy Ruled Unconstitutional, Marines Have A Few Drinks To...
MCLEAN, VA – After instituting a get-tough policy on drunk drivers at the Quantico Marine Corps base, commanders believed they would be ridding the roads of drunk drivers. Instead, they’ve found...
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Marine Private Named ‘Super-Boot Of The Year’
CAMP PENDLETON, CA — In his senior year of high school, Anthony Smith decided he wanted to be a Marine. He had a high-and-tight before ever stepping on the yellow footprints, and he greeted his...
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Former Marine Turns Bass Angler Model
NEW HOPE, Ala. — Marine veteran Justin James Atchley Jr. may look like a normal guy in his small town but he is quickly becoming a star in the Marine Corps after seizing the cover of Bass Angler this...
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Mattis signs order formally recognizing Jalapeno cheese spread as currency at...
WASHINGTON — Defense Secretary Jim Mattis has signed an order formally recognizing the Jalapeno cheese spread found in meals, ready-to-eat as currency at all DoD facilities. The move was long overdue...
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Marine Lance Corporal arrested for lancing corporal at renaissance fair
CASTLE OF MUSKOGEE, Ohio — Unconfirmed reports are circulating of one dead and one injured at an Ohio renaissance fair after a Marine lance corporal lanced a corporal and one other bystander, sources...
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Marine Lance Corporal Tries To Attack Japan After Watching ‘Pearl Harbor’ Movie
KANEOHE BAY, HI – A Marine stationed aboard Marine Corps Base Hawaii recently went on a personal mission to attack Japan. Lance Corporal James Vanhue, of 1st Battalion, 3rd Marines, described as a...
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